Mindless monologue of a crazy preggo

hi again. let me just say that pregnancy doesn't agree with me. they say the first trimester is the worst. they weren't kidding. this shit sucks. i'm always hungry, i have pimples and i feel like psycho preggers barbie. despite my condition i'm working like a slave for walmart but i'm not a slave. walmart is my pimp and i'm a walmart whore. anyway my back hurts i can't sleep my boyfriend is causing me stress. i might not be able to carry this baby to term. i'm so scared i'm going to miscarry. that happened to my best friend. her boyfriend stressed her out so bad that it was over. if i ever see him on the street that nigga is dead. he killed my god baby. so now i'm nine weeks and about two days. just thirty one more weeks to go. i don't know if my sainity will make it. my mood swings like the damn boat ride at kings island. i'll never get on that shit again by the way. my mom is on my case now but i'm trying my damnedest if that is a word to get everything in order. i'm applying for everything and anything i can and i'm getting my own place. and let me tell you job and family services only gave me sixteen fucking dollars for foodstamps. how do they expect a pregnant woman to feed herself on sixteen dollars. thats a dollar a day for only half a month. i'm like are you fucking serious. and yes they are. i would appeal but i'll just move into an apartment and then it should go up but i thought that was fucking ridiculous. well now i'm sleepy and i'm going to take a nap. thanks for reading.

unexpected but exciting news i guess.

hello world i'm back once again. its been quite a while since i've been on. life moves so fast, there's never enough time to reflect. but i guess you have to make time. i currently work at Wal-Mart supercenter on Miller Lane. feel free to visit me. i'm not really doing much at work you know trying not to work. at the end of march i hope to be moving into a place of my own with my bf AJ. we'll see how that goes. but for the most exciting yet unexpected news... two days ago i found out i was four weeks into an incidental pregnancy. life as i know it could change. i haven't fully decided if i want to keep it. now i don't believe in abortion personally, but i am pro choice. i feel that only i have the right to decide. but at 22 going on 23 this is the most difficult decision i have or possibly ever will have to make. because i'm only 4 weeks i still have the option to take the pill which will cause my period to come in a sense. my bf has four children already. there's so much to consider but in the end its really up to me. but everyone has an opinion. i cant believe i let this happen. stupid valentines day.

I am very excited today because i will fiinally get to work with a trainer to help me control my terrier or as my mom likes to call her a terrorist. i will admit that some of Roxi's (that is my 8 month old boston terrier/jack russell mix) behaviors have gotten out of hand. but in all honesty i will say that it's my fault. i spoil her like a child because to me she's my baby. i don't really care to have children of my own at least not in any immediate future that i can imagine and the fact that i threatened my parents that if i can't have a dog i'd have a baby makes me treat her like a baby so much more. and she's just the cutest dog i've ever seen and i've seen some cute dogs. but i really think my puppy should be on the front of the milkbone box or in a dog food commercial. but the reason i'm so excited is because in addition to trying to correct her behaviors i'm working with a dog psychologist to understand her better. Personally i think she's crazy in hell. She has bounds of energy and she can keep going long after i'm exhausted but despite all that she's the dog i always wanted, besides her not being a pitbull and her small size. but still i love her. i can still remember when i first brought her home on Sept. 13 2008 at 8 weeks. she pooped herself in the car. good times right? but eventually she settled into life with me and my mom and her cat Smoke. those two are something together. and by something i mean its like tyson and hollifield. but i figure eventually they'll get along because they don't have a choice living under the same roof. well i think thats all for today. actually i'm writing a narrative about Roxi so i thought i'd dedicate this weeks blog to her. i love my crazy ass puppy.

it has been a long week. the first week of the quarter always is... so i'm back at it. its sad because i'm taking the same classes as last quarter minus one. i failed all those classes. and that is why my parents will never have my blooger url. not never. right now i'm very sleepy sitting at work. last night i get a call from my best friend whom i haven't heard from in like two weeks or better yet i haven't heard from her since my car has been out of commission. interesting right? so she wants me to go out with her and her boyfriend's sister. now, i don't like my friends boyfriend. and my friend her name is angela. so angela's boyfriend jamal is a dead beat dad and a wanna be drug dealer. truthfully i could spend hours writing on how idiotic and ridiculous this dude is because i can't stand him. never cared for him at all. he's a lame and a loser. but that tells you how retarded my friend is for being with him almost two years. and i feel bad because even ppl with mental retardation are smarter than her. anyway, so angela wants me to go out with them, probably because i just got my car fixed and i'm mobile again. and for some reason, i'll say cuz i missed my best friend of 8+ years i agreed. i'd like to also add that i don't like the sister of jamal and her name is desiree. to me they all on the same bullshit and thats one thing i refuse to eat is bullshit. so don't try to feed it to me. my other friend said that to someone. i thought that was funny cuz he whores around and feeds all kinds of bullshit to these chicks but thats a different story. but back to angela and desiree. so they say that they want to go to the 44 club which is actually in my neighborhood. so i pick them up at like 11:15 and then we have to go pick up some other chick. so then we get to the 44 club and they don't want to go in cuz it's not packed and it's not jumping. whatever i think to myself cuz i know it was going to be a long night. so we leave 44 and go to Leo'sII. now leo's was nice. lots of ppl. good drinks and all that. so being chicks we go to the bathroom, and some other girl leaves her wallet in the bathroom. now the chick i don't really know, her name will be nancy, lol, sees the wallet and i guess she turns it in. but she takes some money out of it. so the girl who's wallet it is, is looking for her shit like who stole my money. she accuses someone else apparently instead of nancy. but there ends up being a confrontation at leo's and we leave. now i've had one drink and i downed it cuz i can't sip alcohol. it taste to bad but i'll still drink it but i refuse to torture myself. so now they want to go to club evolution. at this point i'd like to say i hate to go to clubs. bars are cool but clubs are just not where i want to be. too many young kids and i ain't on that. so i take them and we in there and by the way i ain't paying for anything. desiree is paying cuz she wanted to go out and i really didn't plus i had no money on account of getting my car fixed. so she paid for drinks, smoke and admission and put gas in my car. so they wanna go to evolution and its jumping there we smoking and having drinks. i'm just sitting around cuz its just not my crowd really. i seen ppl i went to high school with that came out after me. so i wasn't feeling it plus i had to go to work the next morning which is where i am now. so i'm sitting there watching these chicks do whatever they do. personally i don't want to be around them really. so we stay and i was ready to go long before two but they wanted to try to stay until like 3. lol funny thing is at 2:30 the lights came on and they told everyone to get out. it was hilarious. although i wonder if they are encouraging drunk driving. and the location isn't good cuz its right in the middle of the sheriff's jurisdiction. luckily i didn't have to take desiree or nancy home cuz they jumped in the car with two dudes. and you didn't hear me complaining. so i took angela home but i think i'm now going to distance myself from her and those she has come to hang out with. i kinda realize now that your real friends shouldn't call you based on if you have transportation or not. so last night really gave me something to think about. so now i'm out cuz i'll be off work in 9 mins. then i can maybe take a nap. yay. :-

the one thing i'd like to do before i die or get old is to write a book. all though i can't seem to pass a gen. ed english class i don't know how i plan to do that. my idea for a book was to try to explain the mindset of a person who enjoy blowing trees. to go through what they think about while they blowed and the things they think about. i can understand its not necesarily a book for everyone. but i think that someone might want to read it.

i suppose that i could really write a book i mean why not. but i'm kinda not motivated to actually be proactive and do it. thats part of the problem i suppose. right now i'm watching rock of love bus and i must say that i don't know what the hell kinda. ppl actually watch this stuff. watching reality tv now makes my head hurt. that is time i will never get back watching this crap. thats time i could have better used to sleep or do homework. or sleep. yea probably sleep. so why am i watching it now. i couldn't tell you. i guess thats why i'm sitting at the computer rather than in front of the tv. matter of fact its past my bed time now.

my first blog. basically a random ass monologue.

Hello to the big blogging world out there. my name is Tiffany and i'm new to this whole blogging thing. i must admit that i was kinda interested in it when i first found out what blogging was but i didn't have time to do that for fun. now i'm doing it for class. who knew right. but i figure why not. since i was interested in it anyway this is a good way to express myself. lets see what would i like to share... well first i'm 21, i'm a leo and my birthday is aug 4. i'm in college and i am majoring in mechanical engineering. i've been in school for what seems like forever. i should have graduated by now but i fucked up and yea i can admit it. its actually a very long story. one which i will not tell at this point in time but it had to do with my family or lack of family now.

anyway, back to me. i have a puppy. she's not so much a puppy now as a terrorist according to my mother. its my fault because i spoil her but it was either get a dog or have a baby. and we see how that turned out. lol. eventually i will train her properly but i don't really have time now. i'm in school from eleven to roughly three pm. then i go to work from three to eight. so my dog really just spends the day in her cage. i try to play but sometimes i wonder if getting a dog as school was letting in was a good idea. either way i wouldn't get rid of her. she's my baby. she's a pretty boston terrier and jack russell terrier mix. sometimes i think i made the wrong choice but when an opportunity lands in you lap you don't sit and ask questions you act. and i've been wanting a puppy for years now. her name is roxi and seeing how i am a single she's pretty much my entire existence except my extra curriculars which i'm sure you'll learn about later and its funny cuz roxi doesn't particualarly care for my hobby.

lets see what else can i share.... i work for tutorial services at my school sinclair. i don't have the patience to tutor ppl but i can schedule and all that so i'm basically a secretary. you might be saying that i just sit and do nothing but thats not even the case. some ppl might not think i do anything but i kno i contribute. esp. since i always go home tired as hell. really right now i'm sitting at work typing this. funny i guess i don't do much but whatever. i think that in writing this blog i can let ppl see me with out me trying to control what they think. something you should know in reading my blog is that i am very blunt and up front. i never understood why ppl run away from conflict and confrontation. yes i will admit it takes a lot of energy but leaving things unresolved isn't necesarily my style unless i shut down then tough break nigga. i will say one thing that i am an advocate for the legalization of marijuana. i think theres no harm and if you want to argue with me about it go ahead but my mind is made up and not going to change regardless of what you think or if you want to argue. so have fun arguing with yourself.

I'm a HUGE bob marley fan. HUGE. like you don't understand. sometimes i wonder if i should have been born in the 60s with my parents. but i can't complain and i won't say i'm not happy. but i would have loved to have been an young adult in the 70s. it would have been AWESOME!! and i really think that weed should be legalized. but enough of my rant . its funny i ain't even high but thats how i feel about that subject so take it or leave it. so now i think i'm done i'm sure that this is long enough so i'll end here. this was kinda fun i look forward to doing it again. hint hint wink wink. j/p.